Category Archives: Fear

Unbroken

A thousand lovesick letters
Written but never sent,
Long before I knew the truth,
Your honesty was bent.

I do not need to bargain,
Wager my soul or more,
To keep that fear from knocking,
Upon my heart’s closed door.

A delusion can be a grand thing,
As long as you keep it fed,
I once believed that I was weak,
Monsters under my bed.

Lost in love, I lost the most.
Downtrodden and unspoken.
Forgot myself, I was a ghost,
But now my heart’s unbroken.

Appearances are deceptive,
My inner strength did keep,
I struggled to feel whole again,
Against those odds so steep.

Self-imprisoned for so many years,
And now my sprit freed,
A fortunate escape from darkness,
Chaos, jealousy and greed.

Intentions are irrelevant,
Words are softer than deeds,
The security you search for,
Wont be found in pockets deep,

A true friendship shall never be
Something bought or sold,
The only recompense I seek
Is in a heart of gold.

New Year’s Resolutions 2015

Life is just too short to waste. Nobody knows when it will be taken away so better to live without regret, better to try your best than not, better to blindly believe in the good instead of accepting that it’s all bad, better to know and like yourself rather than a version created solely out of fear that you were never (and won’t ever be) good enough, better to live each day as if it were indeed your last without fear, without anger, without hate, without chaos, frustration or confusion….

New year’s resolutions 2015:
1. Be myself and let others see Me
2. Let go of all learned negative thoughts, behaviours, habits, words and deeds for they don’t belong to me
3. Live in the present
4. Feel the joy of gentleness and contentment
in every moment
5. Smile with my eyes and heart
6. Share the positive Truth
7. Laugh and play everyday

Now I Know

I dropped the penny
And I broke the glass,
I guess I never really listened in class.
I spent my time breaking all the rules,
I didn’t want it to come true,
I didn’t want to be just like you.

I spent my time breaking all the rules,
I was not a fool, I was just afraid.
But no one knew, they could not see me,
I was not OK,
I couldn’t take the madness of it all,
I was scared to fall.

***********************************************

Confusion and chaos was the name of the game,
I didn’t want to be just the same.
I slowed it down, I hurried up,
It was not enough.
I tried to be something outside of me,
I didn’t know, it wasn’t clear,
I had the fear.

Just to be,
It was not enough,
Over time,
The conditioning had changed my mind.
I forgot what it was all about,
This crazy world had me turned inside out.

I thought if I could just meet a sage,
Who could teach me how to save me from myself.
If I could change, my maze-like mind, negative rhymes,
Everything feeling so out of time.

So I slowed it down,
I took a step back,
I slowly learned how to take a look
At the craziness of my world,
There was a way that I could have it all.

To save myself, from myself,
Life wasn’t really the mess I thought it was.
All I had to do was look inside.
Realise, I am my Child.

I can Feel,
I am anew.
I can Feel,
And that is True.
I can Feel,
It is all I need.
I can Feel,
I know the Truth.

Hurricane Fay: Storm Swell

After a week without a decent session, I was itching to hit the beach and bag a few waves. By Wednesday morning I’d had enough of waiting, I grabbed my board and camera bag and headed for my local break, figuring that if the surf was too big at least I would capture a few nice shots. On Tuesday evening the sea was flat, and it was hard to imagine that the forecast conditions of 8-10 foot swell with a 17 second period between waves could actually become a reality overnight.

Continue reading Hurricane Fay: Storm Swell

The Common Starling

I understood your call today,
It was an imitation of life.
Even the chorus was not your own,
Just another stanza of defence,
A flawless instrumental, coded without contest.
But I don’t blame, I don’t accuse,
It’s not your fault you were born to lose…

Your gift of mimicry so dear
When existence predicates entirely on fear,
None of it your own,
A universal inheritance
From friend to foe.
But I don’t blame, I don’t accuse,
It’s not your fault you were born to lose…

The only songs in your repertoire
Are renditions of resemblance.
The rest a prized secret
What matters most is artifice, a self-protective version
Through that peculiar power of suggestion.
But I don’t blame, I don’t accuse
It’s not your fault you were born to lose…

The trickery of appearance
Is an age-old competition,
A survival strategy modelled on blatant plagiarism,
Valued solely through the complexity of camouflage            To make just that right impression and be left in company… Alone.
But I don’t blame, I don’t accuse
It’s not your fault you were born to lose…

So you prevent damage and death to the lost nest,
Keeping the signature of the common starling secret.
Something performed out of necessity
When nothing more could be sung in society,
Except the ones already hummed.
But I don’t blame, I don’t accuse,
It’s not your fault you were born to lose…

The Tale of Lost Canyon

There once was a town high up in the mountains and in it lived a thousand people. The people were decent, hard-working folk who lived entirely by the clock, ever watchful and mindful of what they should be doing at certain hours of the day in accordance with the town’s strict customs. One of these prescribed that children, teenagers and even young adults were to be seen and heard at all times. This was to safeguard against them venturing up the treacherous peaks surrounding Lost Canyon, which was strictly prohibited because everyone who had done so vanished when they reached the other side, never to be seen or heard from again.

Lost Canyon terrified the locals. Mothers, fathers and grandparents in particular were constantly filled with dread, and each had their own negative expectations and wild imaginings of what terrors might await their children, who were very curious to know the truth about it all.

Continue reading The Tale of Lost Canyon