Category Archives: Your Self

Believe

As I watch the sun set for one last time on the wilder side of my world, the golden glow fades behind rugged islands that lie out far beyond the bay, and I wonder if I shall ever find another soul who will care to share with me these wondrous moments.

Will it be I alone who revels at the marbled sky? Who watches as the birds glide hurriedly home to their nurturing nests. Now I am a solitary songbird. Will my own music be enough to soothe my soul? Will those fiery plumes, left in the wake of our life giving star’s descent, be enough to warm my heart?

Can I please my own mind scanning the horizon for random sights that bless the present as unique, never to be seen or felt or heard again?

Will I miss your presence every time nature marvels in my eyes?

I must trust that somewhere there are eyes out there that see the same, who wonder if they will meet another’s glance and for a moment feel an ease of that subtle, solemn pain.

Loneliness is only lonesome when we alone are not enough.

Can the unconditional love we have to share with the world, for life, nature and every being and creature in existence be suffice to compensate for these moments not shared?

Maybe…

I guess I will eventually see.

Somewhere inside I do believe.

Unbroken

A thousand lovesick letters
Written but never sent,
Long before I knew the truth,
Your honesty was bent.

I do not need to bargain,
Wager my soul or more,
To keep that fear from knocking,
Upon my heart’s closed door.

A delusion can be a grand thing,
As long as you keep it fed,
I once believed that I was weak,
Monsters under my bed.

Lost in love, I lost the most.
Downtrodden and unspoken.
Forgot myself, I was a ghost,
But now my heart’s unbroken.

Appearances are deceptive,
My inner strength did keep,
I struggled to feel whole again,
Against those odds so steep.

Self-imprisoned for so many years,
And now my sprit freed,
A fortunate escape from darkness,
Chaos, jealousy and greed.

Intentions are irrelevant,
Words are softer than deeds,
The security you search for,
Wont be found in pockets deep,

A true friendship shall never be
Something bought or sold,
The only recompense I seek
Is in a heart of gold.

Wants and Needs

The heart wants,
The heart needs,
Not always granted,
At times appeased.
Life isn’t fair,
Sometimes a nightmare.
The key is to be kind to yourself,
Don’t rely on anyone else.

Kind words are blessings,
Forgotten too soon.
Unfair actions of others,
Inscribe our mental cocoons.
Words can also be painful,
So deal them out careful.
Never say never,
Maybe in time you’ll know better.

Fate is a temptress,
So don’t play her game.
Permanence is an illusion,
Deceiving the sane.
Don’t be fooled,
Because some hearts
Will not be true.
And know fear cannot bind us,
It shall only unwind trust.

 

Dance With Life

I’ll keep a little box of hope in my heart
So that maybe we can share a life together again.
But hope is just that… it’s not certain or definite.
It’s just a thing we do to keep on moving.
Keep on moving, that I must.
A little bird told me, one I trust.

You were my little bird for many a year but in that time hope was lost to fear.
The sparkle in those eyes I loved so dear, lost its glimmer when I was near.
Nothing is just as we wish, your hair, your smile, those lips to kiss.
You are yours. You are not mine. A truth I knew but lost in time.

We got lost in time… our souls entwined.
So complicated to unravel.
How far must I travel
To feel whole again?

So to you my beautiful friend,
Go be free and spread your wings.
Know that you will always be the one for me
And that the hope in my heart waits patiently.

I know in my soul we are birds of a feather.
Someday maybe we’ll land on the same branch
And decide to build a new nest together.

Although the hurt I feel is real
I know now it’s not for you to heal.
That is my task, to rise to the challenge.
Letting go of the past, the pain, the strife
The romance I need is my dance with life.

Prison of the mind: Are you ready to escape?

The Time is NowHave you ever woken up with a sink hole feeling?

I find myself at the bottom of a deep dark pit today. I have been teetering over the edge for a lifetime and it has taken everything in me not to fall. But this morning I couldn’t hold on any longer…so I finally let go and sank.

The prison of the mind

The alarm bells were always there from an early age, but as I grew older, I became more adept at turning down the volume, until eventually they simply faded away into the background.

That was when the amnesia of self really began. That’s when the present moment became a thing of the past and the intangible future became my focus. That was when I relinquished control over my existence to invisible forces…those infamous mind shackles locked me up in a labyrinth that I couldn’t find my way out of.

Doubt and uncertainty became the sinister agents of my fate. My destiny felt doomed because it was already preconditioned towards disaster. It was like witnessing a train crash occur right before my eyes and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

I was led in every direction except the right one. I spent my youth screaming ‘Fuck You’ to everything and everyone in society. I sought to hurt rather than be hurt. I tried to numb the confusion rather than feel anything at all. I gave up trying out of an utter fear of failure. After all, I was still in that lonely maze. Cynicism had become my best friend.

Then I went to the opposite extreme, but the delusion only grew stronger. I accepted that life is crap, it’s always going to be crap, and there’s nothing I can do to really change it. I mean, if you can’t beat it, you’ve got to become part of it, right? And so I did.

I surrendered. I subscribed. I conformed. I competed. On the outside, I did everything that you’re supposed to do. I got my good grades at school, I got my first grade honours at university, and thereafter worked incredibly hard to become ‘successful‘ in the eyes of society. I went with the grain and it consumed me entirely. On the inside, I was still screaming. Continue reading Prison of the mind: Are you ready to escape?

Free the innocent child within

New Year’s Resolutions 2015

Life is just too short to waste. Nobody knows when it will be taken away so better to live without regret, better to try your best than not, better to blindly believe in the good instead of accepting that it’s all bad, better to know and like yourself rather than a version created solely out of fear that you were never (and won’t ever be) good enough, better to live each day as if it were indeed your last without fear, without anger, without hate, without chaos, frustration or confusion….

New year’s resolutions 2015:
1. Be myself and let others see Me
2. Let go of all learned negative thoughts, behaviours, habits, words and deeds for they don’t belong to me
3. Live in the present
4. Feel the joy of gentleness and contentment
in every moment
5. Smile with my eyes and heart
6. Share the positive Truth
7. Laugh and play everyday

Now I Know

I dropped the penny
And I broke the glass,
I guess I never really listened in class.
I spent my time breaking all the rules,
I didn’t want it to come true,
I didn’t want to be just like you.

I spent my time breaking all the rules,
I was not a fool, I was just afraid.
But no one knew, they could not see me,
I was not OK,
I couldn’t take the madness of it all,
I was scared to fall.

***********************************************

Confusion and chaos was the name of the game,
I didn’t want to be just the same.
I slowed it down, I hurried up,
It was not enough.
I tried to be something outside of me,
I didn’t know, it wasn’t clear,
I had the fear.

Just to be,
It was not enough,
Over time,
The conditioning had changed my mind.
I forgot what it was all about,
This crazy world had me turned inside out.

I thought if I could just meet a sage,
Who could teach me how to save me from myself.
If I could change, my maze-like mind, negative rhymes,
Everything feeling so out of time.

So I slowed it down,
I took a step back,
I slowly learned how to take a look
At the craziness of my world,
There was a way that I could have it all.

To save myself, from myself,
Life wasn’t really the mess I thought it was.
All I had to do was look inside.
Realise, I am my Child.

I can Feel,
I am anew.
I can Feel,
And that is True.
I can Feel,
It is all I need.
I can Feel,
I know the Truth.

Me and You

I like you.
You are my best friend.
We’ve known each other since time began.

No-one knows
What we’ve been through,
You are Me
And I am You.

When the darkness calls
And the light fades,
Don’t you fret dear
It’ll be OK.

Take my hand,
Let’s walk tall together,
On sunny days
Or in stormy weather.

When the darkness calls
And the light fades,
Don’t you fret dear
It’ll be OK.

No-one knows
What we’ve been through,
You are Me
And I am You.

You are Me
And I am You…

Re-Mind

If difficulty reigns
In quieting the brain,
Keep standing back
Until clarity is gained.
Many miles I may travel
In stepping back past the muddle,
Until laughter is felt and heard within.